so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
