Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
