I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
