We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
