Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
