11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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