I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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