The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
