Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
