He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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