why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
