Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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