and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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