Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
