They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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