Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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