I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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