Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
