she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
