you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
