Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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