He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
