Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
