My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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