he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
