It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
