Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
