You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
