That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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