My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
