She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
