Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
