Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
