I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
