i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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