We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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