speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
