is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
