If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
