The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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