no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
