Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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