pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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