hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
