Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
