WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
