Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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