Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
