the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
