How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
