About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
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