Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
