return my video game
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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